For people with ADHD, it’s important to prioritize self-care during the holidays. This can look like identifying overstimulation, avoiding overcommitment, and disengaging during gatherings.
The holidays are a busy time of year, and it’s easy for self-care to fall to the wayside. However, it’s important to take care of yourself during this time, especially for those with ADHD.
Taking care of yourself can look like preparing in advance or prioritizing your mental health in the moment. Below, two experts share a few strategies you may consider as the holidays approach.
Taryn Sinclaire, LCSW, works with individuals with ADHD on a daily basis and has ADHD herself. She suggests taking a couple of 5-minute breaks a day, or during an event, to check in with yourself.
“One of the main problems of ADHD is that the body and brain signals often get lost in all of the other information that is coming in,” she says. “Taking that 5-minute check-in break periodically allows those signals to get through.”
She says that some signs you may need to take a step back include:
- Changes in mood: suddenly feeling very irritable, rapidly escalating moods, or feeling a strong urge to cry or rage
- Stimuli feel more intense: sounds feel too loud, light is too bright, or touch is too tactile
- Physical reactions: racing heart, clenched jaw, tightened shoulders, headache, brain fog, restlessness, feeling the need to escape, or excessive picking, fidgeting, rocking, or pacing
- Social signs: trouble speaking or forming coherent sentences, having difficulty following the flow of a conversation, or feeling “peopled out”
Alex Dimitriu, MD, has worked with individuals with ADHD for over a decade. He says you should say “no” more often than you say “yes.”
“Be more picky,” he says. “The future you will be happy you did.”
Sinclaire says that she makes it very clear what her expectations and needs are.
“I want to enjoy my holidays, and I can’t do that if I am overstimulated,” she says. “I take my breaks, I disengage from things that are too stimulating, and I find more comfortable or less stimulating places at the event.”
Dimitriu emphasizes the importance of getting enough sleep. He says that even in small doses, such as between 10 and 30 minutes, it can give your brain a chance to unwind.
“What all of us need, and especially people with ADHD, is some moments of silence and non-performing,” he says. “Staying up too late to have a moment alone and do whatever you like to do is a sign that your days have become too busy.”
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Getting enough sleep can improve attention and memory, which can be especially helpful for individuals with ADHD. It can also reduce stress and boost your mood, which can be helpful during the busy holiday season.
It’s perfectly okay to remove yourself from a social situation if it’s becoming overwhelming. There are several ways to do this discreetly.
Sinclaire recommends bringing a set of earbuds with you to every function. This way, you can retreat to the bathroom for 5 to 10 minutes and block out overstimulating sounds.
She says you can listen to your favorite piece of calming music, white noise, or another soothing sound to have only one source of stimulation.
“People will rarely ask about a person stepping away to the bathroom,” she says.
She also recommends having a scheduled “phone call” or two. This is when a loved one, ideally not at the same gathering, calls you at a scheduled time. She says this gives you an excuse to step away, such as by going to your car or a quieter part of the gathering for 10 to 20 minutes.
“The person with ADHD doesn’t actually need to talk on the phone; it just gives them a polite excuse,” she says.
Dimitriu says that you should try to get silence everywhere you can. He recommends a short walk without your phone, or just stepping outside.
“Even 10 minutes can go a very long way,” he says. “Just go outside, look up at the sky, and spend a few minutes alone with yourself. Breathe. When you go so fast, 10 minutes of doing “nothing” can be a godsend.”
Even if you have a self-care plan in place, you may find that you react in a way that you don’t want to.
“In the absence of free space and time, people with ADHD can become more irritable, anxious, and more easily overwhelmed,” Dimitriu says.
He says that people with ADHD may also experience a decline in focus and concentration, which can be seen in social interactions.
Sinclaire says that self-reflection after the fact is the best way to avoid overstimulation in the future.
“Looking back at an event and asking oneself questions like: ‘When did I start to show signs?’ ‘What was going on around that time?’ ‘What sensory input was there?’ Can really help to pinpoint it,” she says.
“The key to avoidance is identifying what one is avoiding in the first place.”
Self-care is important at all times of the year, but especially during the holiday season. For people with ADHD, self-care may help prevent overstimulation and ensure that this season can be an enjoyable time.
Remember: it’s not selfish or rude to give yourself what you need, whether that be taking a step back from a social function or saying “no” to things.
The above strategies serve as a starting point, and you may find that some or none of them work for you. A therapist or mental health professional can also provide additional support and strategies tailored to your individual needs.