This common condition is when children are afraid of being away from their parents, sometimes with an extreme fear of being separated. Many children outgrow this, but it can also happen in adulthood.

Separation anxiety is a common part of childhood development. It most often occurs in babies between 8 and 12 months old, and usually disappears when they’re around 2 years old.

Some children have symptoms of separation anxiety during their grade school and teenage years. This condition is called separation anxiety disorder or SAD, and it can also happen in adults.

This disorder tends to indicate general mood and mental health issues.

Symptoms of SAD occur when a child is separated from parents or caregivers. Fear of separation can also cause anxiety-related behaviors. Some of the most common behaviors include:

  • clinging to parents
  • extreme and severe crying
  • refusal to do things that require separation
  • physical illness, such as headaches or vomiting
  • violent, emotional temper tantrums
  • refusal to go to school
  • poor school performance
  • failure to interact in a healthy manner with other children
  • refusing to sleep alone
  • nightmares

Around one-third of children with SAD will be diagnosed with a mental illness as adults.

SAD is more likely to occur in children with:

  • a family history of anxiety or depression
  • shy, timid personalities
  • low socioeconomic status
  • overprotective parents
  • a lack of appropriate parental interaction
  • problems socializing with or being around kids their own age

SAD can also occur after a stressful life event, such as:

  • moving to a new home
  • switching schools
  • divorce
  • the death of a close family member

Children who experience three or more symptoms may be diagnosed with SAD. Your doctor may order additional tests to confirm the diagnosis.

Your doctor might also watch you interact with your child. This shows whether your parenting style affects how your child deals with anxiety.

Both therapy and medication are used to treat separation anxiety disorder. Both treatment methods can help a child manage anxiety in a positive way.

Therapy

The most effective therapy is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). With CBT, children are taught coping techniques for anxiety. Common techniques are deep breathing and relaxation.

Parent-child interaction therapy is another way to treat SAD. It has three main treatment phases:

  • Child-directed interaction (CDI): Focuses on improving the quality of the parent-child relationship. It involves warmth, attention, and praise. These help strengthen a child’s feeling of safety.
  • Bravery-directed interaction (BDI): Educates parents about why their child feels anxiety. Your child’s therapist will develop a bravery ladder. The ladder shows situations that cause anxious feelings. It establishes rewards for positive reactions.
  • Parent-directed interaction (PDI): Teaches parents to communicate clearly with their child. This helps to manage poor behavior.

The school environment is another key to successful treatment. Your child needs a safe place to go when they feel anxious.

There should also be a way for your child to communicate with you if necessary during school hours or other times when they’re away from home.

Finally, your child’s teacher should encourage interaction with other classmates. If you have concerns about your child’s classroom, speak with the teacher, principal, or a guidance counselor.

Online therapy options

Read our review of the best online therapy options to find the right fit for you.

Medication

There are no specific medications for SAD. Antidepressants are sometimes used in older children with this condition if other forms of treatment are ineffective.

This decision must be carefully considered by the child’s parent or guardian and the doctor. Children must also be monitored closely for side effects.

Emotional and social development may be affected by this separation anxiety, possibly causing a child to avoid experiences crucial to normal development.

SAD can also affect family life in other ways, including:

  • Family activities that are limited by negative behavior
  • Parents with little to no time for themselves or each other, resulting in frustration
  • Siblings who become jealous of the extra attention given to the child with SAD

If your child has SAD, speak with your doctor about treatment options and ways you can help manage its effect on family life.

Separation anxiety is a common issue for children, but it may fade by age 2.

For children who continue to experience this issue as they get older, it may require treatment that includes therapy. This may involve just the child, or other members of the family.

Your family’s healthcare team can guide you on diagnosing and managing this type of separation anxiety, and treating it in more severe instances if it begins affecting the child’s development, social relationships, or the family dynamic.

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